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Three Stories By Swimsuit Grandma (Expanded Version)

by Swimsuit Grandma

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1.
It’s been a long time since I left conversation To the language spoken only by the mind It’s been a long time since I left moderation And leave all rationale behind What you promised means the world if it is true What I fear is what your saying is nothing new Is it a tangled time-consuming revelation That only leads me back to where I’ve been I’ve tried so many ways to find peace It never seems to leave where it begins With hesitation I am pondering your call For understanding you say that I must surrender all Pardon my expression I’ve been here before Traveled down the same road Leading to the same place Been down the same road
2.
He says the transformation Will only lead to progress The waking of the new man The awareness of our own divinity He says that time has left us In bondage to mortality Only sensing realness in our minds By what we touch and see Let him lead you on The pauper’s walrus To the truth beyond reason The pauper’s walrus He says our evolution Has finally made a pathway Leading to the answers We have all been looking for so long He says our only hindrance is What we’ve known as possible Never understanding to see ourselves We must look beyond Let him lead you on The pauper’s walrus To the truth beyond reason The pauper’s walrus He’ll take your blinders off and free you He knows your past and what's been keeping you enchained He’ll spin the world round right in front of you And say that you hold it all right in your hands
3.
Take Me Over 04:22
In the form of a question He answers me tells me to look inside myself My gut reaction tells me to flee But my curiosity says Take me over, take me out Take me through the realm Where there’s no fear there’s no doubt Like a distant memory I feel like I've been here before Scared to go on But something inside of me is saying Take me over, take me out Take me through the realm Where there’s no fear there’s no doubt There’s no pain my heart can ache about There’s no wonder if my next step I will fall There’s no dread in the vanity of all There’s no hope cause nothing else is needed There’s no wants cause nothing is depleted There’s no walls no boundaries are required There’s no need it fulfills all desires He starts to speak But says words could never express The only way you'll learn is What you'll gain through this experience Take me over, take me out Take me through the realm Where there’s no fear there’s no doubt There's no pain my heart can ache about
4.
After All 02:30
Yesterday I thought all the answers would become evident Now I wonder if there is any after all
5.
There is no peace in staying still There is no peace in running far There is no peace is letting go There is no peace in holding on I’ll make the most of these troubled times I’ll learn so much from these troubled times There is no peace in standing firm There is no peace in wavering There is no peace in contemplation There is no peace in mindlessness I’ll make the most of these troubled times I’ll learn so much from these troubled times Inside I feel like I’m torn in two No sanctuary is driving me insane
6.
Nothing hopeless has before entered my mind Now it seems as if it’s all I think of A sense of desperateness is taking over now Since what I hoped for I have made Boy did I trouble the water not to make sense of this And it seems so hard to make it come together But if it does now who can separate It’s disconcerting knowing it’s always been there When it seems out of place to me Boy did I trouble the water not to make sense of this And so what puzzled me has left me here alone To struggle face to face And what encompasses me I try to break but cannot flee What's inside of me I fought against so long What's the use to even struggle Disembodied from the start The soul has no more say I cannot live without this connection So forever here far from my intentions Nowhere close to where I thought I would be It’s disconcerting knowing it's always been there When it seems out of place to me
7.
Fear of wrong decisions Contemplating all mistakes Fear of moving forward All the wrong steps you could take Fear of the imagined Keeps you from the truth Fear of what's behind The curtain you may never know Why do we fear what means the most Fear of being foolish Who will watch you when you fall Fear of dangerous ground When you step will it dissolve Fear of being open To the reality That will settle your mind And open up your eyes Why do we fear what means the most
8.
Nothing New 04:20
Contemplate these circles That lead me back to you So many times I’ve left To return for what is true Promises of fortune A peaceful paradise Are tricks cleverly concealed And their beauty knows your name There’s nothing new The same old tricks the same old lies What caught my eye was sparkling It beckoned for my soul What harm can come from searching If I maintain control An apologetic plea I return from where I came Now every course I travel down The ends always the same There’s nothing new The same old tricks the same old lies
9.
I wonder if the way I think is right at all Or if it’s just the way I think it should be I wonder if the answer is as simple As I think it is or is there simply not one at all And we talk about the sea The way that it greets us The waves are like its arms Reaching out to destroy or save us Hopefully I think I got it figured out But honestly you think you know the answer too It's hard to tell what's right or wrong When preconceptions Cloud the light that wants so hard to shine on through And we talk about the sea The way that it greets us The waves are like its arms Reaching out to destroy or save us
10.
Disappointment Disillusion Misconception Misdirection As he goes down the marches sound upon the sea The current pushes him so far away He goes far from where he’s supposed to be Sink Down to the Bottom of the Sea Once he climbed now he sinks to the sea Watching the waves smash to pieces The wrecked ships against the coral reefs He goes down in an aquatic incarceration he is captured With the ones he tried to set free As he goes down the marches sound upon the sea The current pushes him so far away He goes far from where he’s supposed to be Sink Down to the Bottom of the Sea As he breathes in the air escapes his lungs Thinking how he could have been so sure to do what he has done He starts to think oh how we have one chance Is the answer so obvious Or did he bother just not to see Is it so obvious Sink Down to the Bottom of the Sea
11.
There is no peace in staying still There is no peace in running far There is no peace is letting go There is no peace in holding on I’ll make the most of these troubled times I’ll learn so much from these troubled times There is no peace in standing firm There is no peace in wavering There is no peace in contemplation There is no peace in mindlessness I’ll make the most of these troubled times I’ll learn so much from these troubled times Inside I feel like I’m torn in two No sanctuary is driving me insane
12.
I’ve been lost drifting in the open Waiting for the next breeze to carry me away I’ve been set adrift on the ocean Whichever way the wind blows it's my course they decide Will I ever be happy It’s my course they decide Settled in the fact that I have no choice I see in the distance the place I wish to be Washed away by the crashing waters All my hopes of being all my dreams Will I ever be happy Will I ever be content Will I ever find peace It’s my course they decide
13.
Once you think it’s been collected The truth becomes elusive Confounding even wise men Choosing its own way By which it's revealed In irony it is concealed Evading every trap laid Once in the palm of my hand It all begins to slip away Contemplating thoughts of ancients Who grappled with the questions That only bring confusion Looking for the clues To what it's about Once it's within we soon are without Any sense of understanding Once in the palm of my hand it all begins to slip away And the meaning seems to disappear Once we think it’s been made clear in our minds When we stand upon the words we speak They once again become weak in our mouths To be enlightened then in the dark Once all-consuming now not a spark Of former revelation Once in the palm of my hand it all begins to slip away Trying to conjure up the meaning Through mindless repetition Of words that once transcended Always in a flux We try and pin it down Saying that it's here When is really surrounds All our thoughts and expectations Once in the palm of my hand it all begins to slip away
14.
There is no peace in staying still There is no peace in running far There is no peace is letting go There is no peace in holding on I’ll make the most of these troubled times I’ll learn so much from these troubled times There is no peace in standing firm There is no peace in wavering There is no peace in contemplation There is no peace in mindlessness I’ll make the most of these troubled times I’ll learn so much from these troubled times Inside I feel like I’m torn in two No sanctuary is driving me insane
15.
Tiny creatures scale the bottom of the ocean floor Men dressed in frog suits with knives and lights ready to explore They say it's amazing the wonders that they see below But you won’t see me dressed in rubber ready to go I do better on the shore What hope has a drowning man A smart man knows where not to go There is no fear in being wise Don’t jump in what you do not know Impending disaster It’s wise to stay somewhere far away I’ll keep my distance From where my life might not be safe I do better on the shore A thousand pairs of glowing eyes scare me when I look below Not knowing what will be revealed is reason enough for me not to go I am so safe here why ever should I want to leave The security of standing firm To the relative safety of the deep I do better on the shore
16.
I’ve been lost drifting in the open Waiting for the next breeze to carry me away I’ve been left adrift on the ocean Whichever way the wind blows my course they decide Will I ever be happy It’s my course they decide Settled in the fact that I have no choice I see in the distance the place I wish to be Washed away by the crashing waters All my hopes of being all my dreams Will I ever be happy It’s my course they decide
17.
Contemplate these circles That lead me back to you So may times I’ve left To return for what is true Promises of fortune A peaceful paradise Are tricks cleverly concealed And their beauty knows your name There’s nothing new The same old tricks the same old lies What caught my eye was sparkling It beckoned for my soul What harm can come from searching If I maintain control An apologetic plea I return from where I came Now every course I travel down The ends always the same There’s nothing new The same old tricks the same old lies
18.
I’m the one who lost my inhibitions I feared nothing when I left the shore I'm the one who was left wide open Nothing to hide no cover to employ Because you can if you want You can see the other side You can see the world and get it in perspective You can know what's going on You can see what's going down Do you want to know if the world spins around you I used to walk your shore I’m bored with it I’m bored with it Come on let’s go skinny dippin’ You’re the one who said that my behavior Just doesn't fit with the things you've learned You're the one who said that I’m acting foolish For the younger ones I should be concerned But the younger ones should know the truth lies down below They need to be the ones who jump in and find it The truth will not sit still it seeks a deeper thrill Its own nature seems to destroy itself
19.
Once you think it’s been collected The truth becomes elusive Confounding even wise men Choosing it's own way By which it's revealed In irony it is concealed Evading every trap laid Once in the palm of my hand It all begins to slip away Contemplating thoughts of ancients Who grappled with the questions That only bring confusion Looking for the clues To what it's about Once it's within we soon are without Any sense of understanding Once in the palm of my hand it all begins to slip away And the meaning seems to disappear Once we think it’s been made clear in our minds When we stand upon the words we speak They once again become weak in out mouths To be enlightened then in the dark Once all consuming now not a spark Of former revelation Once in the palm of my hand it all begins to slip away Trying to conjure up the meaning Through mindless repetition Of words that once transcended Always in a flux We try and pin it down Saying that it's here When is really surrounds All our thoughts and expectations Once in the palm of my hand it all begins to slip away
20.
Nothing hopeless has before entered my mind Now it seems as if it’s all I think of A sense of desperateness is taking over now Since what I hoped for I have made Boy did I trouble the water not to make sense of this And it seems so hard to make it come together But if it does now who can separate It’s disconcerting knowing it’s always been there When it seems out of place to me Boy did I trouble the water not to make sense of this And so what puzzled me has left me here alone To struggle face to face And what encompasses me I try to break but cannot flee What's inside of me I fought against so long What's the use to even struggle Disembodied from the start The soul has no more say I cannot live without this connection So forever here far from my intentions Nowhere close to where I thought I would be It’s disconcerting knowing it’s always been there When it seems out of place to me
21.
Fear of wrong decisions Contemplating all mistakes Fear of moving forward All the wrong steps you could take Fear of the imagined Keeps you from the truth Fear of what's behind The curtain you may never know Why do we fear what means the most Fear of being foolish Who will watch you when you fall Fear of dangerous ground When you step will it dissolve Fear of being open To the reality That will settle your mind And open up your eyes Why do we fear what means the most
22.
I wonder if the way I think is right at all Of if it’s just the way I think it should be I wonder if the answer is as simple As I think it is or is there simply not one at all And we talk about the sea The way that it greets us The waves are like it's arms Reaching out to destroy or save us Hopefully I think I got it figured out But honestly you think you know the answer too It's hard to tell what's right or wrong When preconceptions Cloud the light that wants so hard to shine on through And we talk about the sea The way that it greets us The waves are like it's arms Reaching out to destroy or save us

about

This is the 2013 mastered version of "Three Stories By Swimsuit Grandma" originally released in 2002. Writing and recording this project took ten years!

This version also includes 2 EPs of cassette demo recordings including some tunes that didn't make the final cut. I spent months going through a suitcase of old tapes and creating digital versions of these old recordings. I had to leave the room a few times while some of these embarrassing artifacts were playing.

I do write songs pretty slowly but the bulk of this 10 year process was spent learning to record. The Cassette and 4 Track recordings document this history. I named the tapes according to when I digitized them not when they were recorded. SG9 was actually recorded earlier than SG8. SG9 was recorded on a four track. SG8 was my foray into digital recording. I sequenced the tracks and barely had enough computer power for 3 or so vocal tracks. I then mixed it down to cassette.

Thanks to Jim Wiita for creating the cover art for the EPs" and Dw Dunphy for the new "Three Stories" cover art.

Eddie Parrino - BGV's on SG Tape 9
Debra Divine – Violin on “My Course They Decide” 4 Track Version

credits

released June 18, 2002

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Mike Indest New Orleans, Louisiana

This is indie rock that says something without shouting or faux-whispering. - Radio Eclectic

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