Let's Have Church

by Swimsuit Grandma

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1.
Long jean skirts and little white socks Oh man my baby rocks She’s my Pentecostal Pamela Lee Got her hair all up in a bun Oh man she’s a load of fun She’s my Pentecostal Pamela Lee The way she dresses man she is the bomb She buys all of her clothes from liliesapparel.com She doesn’t shave above the shin She puts no makeup on her skin She’s my Pentecostal Pamela Lee The summer months she’s fully dressed My baby sweats buckets She’s my Pentecostal Pamela Lee The way she dresses man she is the bomb She buys all of her clothes from liliesapparel.com I haven’t seen above her knee She doesn’t believe in the Trinity She’s my Oneness Pentecostal Pamela Lee
2.
Don’t dance and women shouldn't wear pants Don’t play cards and don’t you dare play those rock and roll guitars Paul wouldn’t have it if he were alive today We are all so godly that we know just what he’d say We’re addin’ to the Bible all the things it should include We are writing a new book for our time we’ll stick it after Jude Don’t go to the movin’ picture show Don’t swim when the opposite sex is in the pool Paul wouldn’t have it if he were alive today We are all so godly that we know just what he’d say We’re addin’ to the Bible all the things it should include We are writing a new book for our time we’ll stick it after Jude
3.
I never cared much for this life Mediocre job and a mediocre wife We just sit and watch the time go by We’re just waiting till we die We just want our crowns We know that when we die we’ll go up and not go down That’s good enough for us brother we just want our crowns No time for helping out the poor And the ones in pain we just ignore They just lead our minds astray From the gifts we’ll receive that day We just want our crowns We know that when we die we’ll go up and not go down That’s good enough for us brother we just want our crowns I’m gonna eat all that I can So I can leave this life of sin Every bite I take gets me closer to The God of love and a home that’s new
4.
I have my collection it is near perfection I haven’t missed a thing since 1987 I’ve got my Prayer of Jabez boxers Got those Footprints in the Sand Got that painting by Joni Eareckson Tada You know she can’t use her hands Oh but where is my love gift for the month of May I called them on the telephone to see what they would say I was hoping that they would tell me it was on the way But they said thanks for what you’ve given but to my dismay They told me they had run out I might check for one on Ebay Oh where is my love gift for the month of May? I logged on to find one and to my surprise There was one listed but the price was way to high I didn’t have the money no I couldn’t pay the fee So I decided I would sell my kidney With my kidney in the auction no it didn’t take much time For me to buy that limited edition figurine with the Benny Hinn design And now I’ve got my love gift for the month of May
5.
I saw you heading towards the altar So I followed along but not for prayer I wanted to brush by your body And run my fingers by your hair Hey sister big boobs maybe we can get together God told me to tell you to wear that tight sweater I saw you dancing in the aisle Yeah you really made me smile You said the joy was in your soul How I wish you’d swing around that pole Hey sister big boobs maybe we can get together God told me to tell you to wear that tight sweater Do you ever wonder why I sit with you at the singles meetings It’s so that we can hold hands when we pray My hands are getting sweaty my heart is beating faster now..........
6.
03:14
I read the Bible next to my bed The words really jumped into my head I knew the path I was on was corrupt So I gave my life to God and jumped into my truck I passed a church holding revival Jumped out my truck grabbing my Bible I ran down the aisle and yelled out I’ve been saved Waved my NIV in the air and the preacher ran my way And said son I doubt your salvation if you learned the way from that translation He said King James only 1611 Jesus spoke old english and they’ll speak that way in heaven So you better learn it now if you want to hear from the Lord Put away your butter knife and grab yourself a sword So I asked the preacher where I could find one He pointed to the product table outside the auditorium I plunked down 50 bucks to make sure I was saved And the keep my feet from the flames I even got my name engraved Now I'm sure of my salvation not based on faith but the translation Now I sing King James only 1611 Jesus spoke old english and they’ll speak that way in heaven So I'm glad I learned it now so I can hear from the Lord I put away my butter knife and grabbed myself a sword So put away your butter knife and grab yourself a sword

about

This is the 2013 Mastered version of the 2005 release along with a new cover.

This was relatively easy to write since I had so much source material growing up in the church. All of these songs are based off of true events though some have been slightly exaggerated.

Playing these songs live was always interesting since the audience didn't know if they should laugh, pray or tar and feather us. We played one show where a local pastor tried to shut us down. I put the live version of "Love Gift" on here because I can still feel the tension from that show. My sister dressed up like a Pentecostal and danced around the venue playing a tambourine. I wore a "Megiddo: Omega Code 2" shirt.

Please let us know if you would like us to come minister at your church.

credits

released April 1, 2005

Rachael Indest BGV's on "Love Gift" and Eddie Parrino Bass and BGV's on "Sister Big Boobs".

Mastered by Jeff Elbel in 2013
Painting by Michael Knott
Cover design by Matt Crosslin

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Mike Indest New Orleans, Louisiana

This is indie rock that says something without shouting or faux-whispering. - Radio Eclectic

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