Don't Look Back ( + Bonus Tracks )

by Mike Indest

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1.
I found trouble and sorrow You found me a way out I’ve known the depths of despair You filled the depths of my doubt It’s getting to the point where I can see Your love for me is never failing It’s getting to the point where I can see Your path for me is so much better Then where I’ve gone before I’ve known poverty and sickness You’ve known the blessings still to come I see it only in an instant You see it as it will become
2.
04:09
How long will I ignore you before it goes away How long will I ignore you before it goes away Will you darken my heart Will you darken my heart It gets easier every time I turn away To not feel like I'm wrong I'll sing along With the sirens as they lead me to destruction I know there's no life without you I know there's nowhere I can go It gets easier every time I turn away To not feel like I'm wrong I'll sing along With the sirens as they lead me to destruction And the songs we sing sound so much better to my ears than your voice I'll make a choice to ignore you while you're calling me back home
3.
White walls and metal chairs Boredom fills the air Nothing good to read Everyone here seems asleep I’ve always hated quiet times like these I always said a quiet time leads to atrophy Sitting here where I can’t hide The memories come from inside The low points on replay While I justify how I behaved It’s impossible when I try To erase the history from my mind So I try to and tell myself I was the victim of the crime I’m just looking at the clock on the wall I’m just looking for the time I’m just looking to get out of here and find some way to occupy my mind Instead of wondering If I was in the same situation again What would I do
4.
Where is the bread, where is the wine Where is the bread, where is the wine You have turned your face against me Now you turn your face against my children Where are the walls that kept us safe Where are the walls that kept us safe They have crumbled all around us Now our enemies have taken over And all our priests said peace And all our prophets said it was all right You've done all the you said you’d do You've done all that you said you’d do And we cannot really blame you Cause we know we brought it on ourselves
5.
Letting go of things that define Letting go of truths I claimed as mine But are only self delusions It seems you're asking me to let go of what I understand Enjoy the mystery while I’m holding your hand But I’m no good at letting go Of my biology Or bad theology That hurts everyone around
6.
A little confused about what I’m singing Yes she was a girl But not flesh and blood Does it really matter The pain is universal When someone leaves who you thought would always be there I’m always thinking about her She used to sing our song so sweetly You could hear her all through the street I heard a band playing on the corner So I asked of they could play our song They just laughed and said They didn’t know it Launched into something I never heard And everyone else sang along I’m always thinking about her She used to sing our song so sweetly You could hear her all through the street I’m always thinking about her
7.
I've got the nails in my back pocket Just waiting for a chance to drive 'em in A crown of thorns for my princess Until I crucify you why don't we pretend I'll be your Jesus Until I decide not to turn the other cheek I'll nail you up I'll let this bitter cup pass from me this time Got a heart full of forgiveness least that what I'll lead you to believe But I'm counting your transgressions Until I nail you up to laugh and watch you bleed I'll be your Jesus Until I place this crown of thorns upon your head I won't stop until you feel the way you made me feel With a kiss I'll betray you You can taste it on my lips I don't really want to but baby I can't quit The only way that you can be redeemed In my mind is when you suffer
8.
04:24
Only when you know there's a way out Can you dwell on things that seem so hopeless Only when you know the mystery Can you contemplate your own destruction I Can Move Only when you see your failures Can you really see the not yet Only when you throw your hands up Can you really ever do anything I Can Move I'm only happy when it's all fucked up I'm only happy when it hits the ground I'm only happy when it's complicated and wrong Only when you look outside you Can you see how you fit in Only when you quit holding on Can you ever really grasp anything I Can Move
9.
All my lovers there is none to comfort me And all my friends they have become my enemies I never thought about tomorrow Oh Lord look at me now I’m hopeless, cheap, abject All my lovers there is none to comfort me
10.
Undressing and repressing All your weaknesses What you feel tonight You think it’s where your strength is You think you're pretty now The lines are drawn tonight Evidently crossed No regard for wrong or right The passion veiled your eyes No harm or so it seems You’ll be free to go Temporary connected flesh Permanent connected soul You think you're pretty now And you think you're queen And you’ll live your dreams But they will never connect with you And what you’ve got baby love it’s not No it will never connect with you Now that the damage is done You’ve left with more than when you came I hope you got all that you wanted Cause the past now you can’t change You think you're pretty now
11.
04:11
Take the poison from my veins Take the evil from my mind Take the brokenness I am Take the pieces as they fall Take me from the path that leads To nowhere but my own demise Forsake me not for I am weakened Shine down on me Breathe your breath of life in me Scatter all my enemies Fill my cup until it overflows Shine down on me And the walls that surround are closing in Like they never have before Many are the ones to harm me And they’re beating down the door Will you rescue me in my time of trouble Do not turn a deaf ear when I pray Shine down on me And never let me go
12.
I swear if the moon turns the particular shade of red The prophets say signal the end And the stars start really falling from the sky And prove all of my theories wrong I’ll be running for cover right beside you I swear if the sky opens up and the rain falls Like it did so long ago And somewhere in the distance we can see The last boat heading out of here I’ll be treading water right beside you I swear if the earth starts to shake and we both fall Down and we can’t find our feet And we laugh as we watch each other try to stand Trying to overcome our fate I’ll be lying on the ground right beside you
13.
The first kiss is kinda cool Just before things turn cruel What you thought was innocent and true Will always trouble you It’s the heartbreak that defines It will follow you wherever you go It will introduce you to everyone you'll know It’ll be part of your soul Constantly trying to take control It’s the heartbreak that defines It’s the heartbreak, it’s the forbidden fruit that opens your eyes Everyone's looking for a fix As we betray each other with a kiss We’re all heart inside and out Driven by love and plagued by doubt It’s the heartbreak that defines
14.
When I’m getting closer To the finish line No reason to think that It’ll be different this time It’s in this exact place Where I feel unnerved Cause I know what’s coming Right around the next curve It’s an army whose chanting Their battle cry against me I hear them singing This is the place where it all falls apart The moment before you arrive It could be my own doing always bringing me here It could be the devil it really isn’t that clear It could be my enemies trying to trip me up and make me fall It could be some of these things or none of these things at all It doesn't really matter who writes the inscription The sign on the path says This is the place where it all falls apart The moment before you arrive There’s a roadblock in my way I can’t move and I can’t climb There’s a sign above that says The road is closed the path denied
15.
The trouble is I'm not sure Where the scales will balance out Will you get the best of me now Or will you be subject to my continuous Failures and my broken promises That pile up higher and higher every day The trouble is my intentions are pure but my plans Are the schemes of a madman Who think’s he knows the way to make the world his own The trouble is things may never be quite the way That I planned them to work out But you smile and say your only plan Is to be here beside me Telling me the only thing I need to hear That in my weakness I am yours The trouble is you may have to really shout it loud Before I hear you
16.
We can blame the politicians We can blame it on religion We can blame the lack of vision On greater entities And that very well may be But we should all feel a little uneasy We should all feel a little uneasy We should all feel a little uneasy To say the least We can blame their superstitions Or other self imposed conditions We can blame it on a dictatorship A murderous crook But that won't get us off the hook Cause we should all feel a little uneasy We should all feel a little uneasy We should all feel a little uneasy To say the least of these aren't worth our attention To say the least of these aren't worth another look In the least of these we see our judgement and salvation In the least of these we see our gods So we should all feel a little uneasy We should all feel a little uneasy We should all feel a little uneasy To say the least
17.
A million reasons why I love you A million reasons why I don't A million reasons I should stay here And a million reasons why I won't A million little complications A million small regrets A million validations A million things I want to forget It's weighing on me now It seems like that forever is a concept that will never be realized I know you can shine without me I never should have tried to illuminate your heart It's better this way Cause we both know that the only time That this has not been contentious Was the first time that our eyes met Right before we said hello
18.
I’m a clown with two left feet A surgeon who's all thumbs A singer with all the wrong notes A runner with no feet A funny man with no jokes An author with no written words And I seem to crush everything I get in my hands I hope that you’ll listen up I hope you understand I’m an artist with no ink A sailor with no boat A magician without any tricks A traveler who stays home A wrestler with no moves A doctor without any cures And I seem to crush everything I get in my hands I hope that you'll listen up I hope you'll understand I may say that it’s not my intention to destroy everything that I touch but to say that I know my intention is probably saying too much I’m a pilot with no plane A soldier with no gun A boxer who can't make a fist A reader with no books A builder with no tools A farmer without any seed I could say that the hand I’ve been dealt Is the reason I'm not succeeding I could say it’s written in the cards, the stars and they’re never deceiving I’m always saying too much
19.
I'm just waiting for a reason So I can nail the final nail into it It won't be that important but I'll swear it's the biggest thing It's not your fault I can't love It's not your fault when I get close I run It's not your fault but your gonna pay I'm just waiting for a reason So I can nail the final nail into it It won't be that important but I'll swear it's the biggest thing Somewhere along the way it got fucked up Shalalalalala
20.
Long jean skirts and little white socks Oh man my baby rocks She’s my Pentecostal Pamela Lee Got her hair all up in a bun Oh man she’s a load of fun She’s my Pentecostal Pamela Lee The way she dresses man she is the bomb She buys all of her clothes from liliesapparel.com She doesn’t shave above the shin She puts no makeup on her skin She’s my Pentecostal Pamela Lee The summer months she’s fully dressed My baby sweats buckets She’s my Pentecostal Pamela Lee The way she dresses man she is the bomb She buys all of her clothes from liliesapparel.com I haven’t seen above her knee She doesn’t believe in the Trinity She’s my Oneness Pentecostal Pamela Lee
21.
He says the transformation Will only lead to progress The waking of the new man The awareness of our own divinity He says that time has left us In bondage to mortality Only sensing realness in our minds By what we touch and see Let him lead you on The pauper’s walrus To the truth beyond reason The pauper’s walrus He says our evolution Has finally made a pathway Leading to the answers We have all been looking for so long He says our only hindrance is What we’ve known as possible Never understanding to see ourselves We must look beyond Let him lead you on The pauper’s walrus To the truth beyond reason The pauper’s walrus He’ll take your blinders off and free you He knows your past and what's been keeping you enchained He’ll spin the world round right in front of you And say that you hold it all right in your hands
22.
I saw you heading towards the altar So I followed along but not for prayer I wanted to brush by your body And run my fingers by your hair Hey sister big boobs maybe we can get together God told me to tell you to wear that tight sweater I saw you dancing in the aisle Yeah you really made me smile You said the joy was in your soul How I wish you’d swing around that pole Hey sister big boobs maybe we can get together God told me to tell you to wear that tight sweater Do you ever wonder why I sit with you at the singles meetings It’s so that we can hold hands when we pray My hands are getting sweaty my heart is beating faster now..........
23.
You’re a wrecking ball You’re a still small voice You're a jealous Father Who wants the best for His kids And You won’t stop till you get what you’re wanting Without you I am nothing Within you I can move And you won’t stop till you get what you’re wanting And you humbled yourself and faced the ridicule From of those who don’t believe and those who do I’m a broken heart scared to love I’m so good at lying to myself

credits

released January 1, 2017

All songs written by Mike Indest. Performed by Mike Indest with the help of some amazing friends. Monty LeBlanc drums on 4,7,9,10,15,17,19. Eddie Parrino bass on 4,7,9,10,15,17, 19,22 and bg vocals on 4, 7,9,10,15,16,19,22. Sean Severson production, drums, bass, bgv and guitar on 2. Dw. Dunphy everything else besides lead vocals and baritone ukulele on 5,12,14,18,23. Jesse Maizlish vocals on 2 and 8.

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Mike Indest New Orleans, Louisiana

This is indie rock that says something without shouting or faux-whispering. - Radio Eclectic

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