4 Track Diaries

by Mike Indest

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about

All songs written and performed by Mike Indest using a Zoom 4 Track, a Baritone Ukulele, A Realistic MG-1 Synth, a Cajón and some tambourines.

credits

released July 17, 2019

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all rights reserved

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about

Mike Indest New Orleans, Louisiana

This is indie rock that says something without shouting or faux-whispering. - Radio Eclectic

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Track Name: Tendencies (4 Track Diaries)
She can’t help herself she’s gonna do it
Her hands are shaking

She’s got, she’s got, she’s got tendencies
And now her heart won’t find it’s peace
Until she gives it everything she thinks it needs

Sometimes it’s comical
Sometimes it’s dangerous
All the while she’ll stay obsessed
Until she finds everything she thinks her heart is looking for


She’s sitting on her hands cause she wants to interfere
When she hears all of your stupid plans
She’s knows just what, just what you need to do
And she’s chomping at the bit trying hard not to tell you

She’s got, she’s got, she’s got tendencies
And now her heart won’t find relief
Until she gives you everything she thinks you need

Sometimes it’s obvious
Sometimes it’s just enough
Sometimes it’s way more than you bargained for
But never more than what she thinks is needed

She knows but she can help it show

She’s got tendencies
Track Name: After All (4 Track Diaries)
Yesterday I thought all the answers would become evident
Now I wonder if there is any after all
Track Name: Sister Big Boobs (4 Track Diaries)
I saw you heading towards the altar
So I followed along but not for prayer
I wanted to brush by your body
And run my fingers by your hair

Hey sister big boobs maybe we can get together
God told me to tell you to wear that tight sweater

I saw you dancing in the aisle
Yeah you really made me smile
You said the joy was in your soul
How I wish you’d swing around that pole

Hey sister big boobs maybe we can get together
God told me to tell you to wear that tight sweater

Do you ever wonder why I sit with you at the singles meetings
It’s so that we can hold hands when we pray
My hands are getting sweaty
my heart is beating faster now..........
Track Name: Sirens (4 Track Diaries)
How long will I ignore you before it goes away
How long will I ignore you before it goes away
Will you darken my heart
Will you darken my heart

It gets easier every time I turn away
To not feel like I'm wrong I'll sing along
With the sirens as they lead me to destruction

I know there's no life without you
I know there's nowhere I can go

It gets easier every time I turn away
To not feel like I'm wrong I'll sing along
With the sirens as they lead me to destruction
And the songs we sing sound so much better to my ears than your voice
I'll make a choice to ignore you while you're calling me back home
Track Name: One Of Them (4 Track Diaries)
There is no fear of God in their eyes

I feel like I’m one of them

They flatter themselves in their eyes

I feel like I’m one of them

Do you see me as a man after your heart
Or do you see me as one who curses your name

I feel like I’m one of them
Track Name: Inside Jokes (4 Track Diaries)
Inside jokes and funny names
Watching each other circle the drain
Trying hard and getting nowhere
Pretending we don’t care
Laughing that somewhere
Long after we’re dead they’ll be playing our songs

Staying up all night long
Listening to Art Bell and trying to write some songs
Waiting for the new day
Moving past our old ways
Thankfully somethings never change
Like the light up ahead that never went away

Remember those shows when nobody showed
And we sang our hearts out anyway
Remember the time you fell down the hill
And I came tumbling after
Track Name: I Guess We're All Gonna Find Out (4 Track Diaries)
Caught in between this world and the next
Loved ones calling from both directions
Is it selfish or is it selfless
To want to move beyond the temporal

Or do words like these have a different meaning
When you’re balanced between
The here and there

Does every riddle have an answer
Does every no have a reason
Is every childhood pain opened
Ready to receive it’s healing

When you’re stuck between
The now and the not yet
Does it all start to make sense

Is it bravery
Is it knowing
I guess we’re all gonna find out
Track Name: I Feel Like One Of The Girls (4 Track Diaries)
I feel like one of the girls
Je me sens comme l'une des filles
Track Name: Waiting For A Change (4 Track Diaries)
I sing about troubles cause one should sing of what they know
I sing about these times when the real me starts to show

I get disappointed in the way I respond
Thinking that I left these feelings behind

Now I'm praying for a change to come and get me out of
all this mess I find myself in everyday
I’m praying for a change to come and get me out
Get me out of all this, out of all this, out of all this mess

Yeah I blew it and yeah it comes as no surprise
That the real me is ready to bust out from inside

Ready to leap out and take the control
Nothing good can come from this troubled soul

Now I'm praying for a change to come and get me out of
all this mess I find myself in everyday
I’m praying for a change to come and get me out
Get me out of all this, out of all this, out of all this mess

No I shouldn’t be praying that I’ll be removed
I really should be praying that I’ll be renewed
And able to handle whatever life brings
And not being controlled by external things

I'm praying for a change to come and get me out of
All this mess I find myself in everyday
I’m praying for a change to come and get me out
Get me out of all this, out of all this, out of all this mess
Track Name: I Can Move (4 Track Diaries)
Only when you know there's a way out
Can you dwell on things that seem so hopeless
Only when you know the mystery
Can you contemplate your own destruction

I Can Move

Only when you see your failures
Can you really see the not yet
Only when you throw your hands up
Can you really ever do anything

I Can Move

I'm only happy when it's all messed up
I'm only happy when it hits the ground
I'm only happy when it's complicated and wrong

Only when you look outside you
Can you see how you fit in
Only when you quit holding on
Can you ever really grasp anything


I Can Move
Track Name: I Know You Can Shine Without Me (4 Track Diaries)
A million reasons why I love you
A million reasons why I don't
A million reasons I should stay here
And a million reasons why I won't

A million little complications
A million small regrets
A million validations
A million things I want to forget

It's weighing on me now
It seems like that forever is a concept that will never be realized
I know you can shine without me
I never should have tried to illuminate your heart

It's better this way
Cause we both know that the only time
That this has not been contentious
Was the first time that our eyes met
Right before we said hello
Track Name: Shine Down (4 Track Diaries)
Take the poison from my veins
Take the evil from my mind
Take the brokenness I am
Take the pieces as they fall
Take me from the path that leads
To nowhere but my own demise
Forsake me not for I am weakened

Shine down on me

Breathe your breath of life in me
Scatter all my enemies
Fill my cup until it overflows

Shine down on me

And the walls that surround are closing in
Like they never have before
Many are the ones to harm me
And they’re beating down the door
Will you rescue me in my time of trouble
Do not turn a deaf ear when I pray

Shine down on me
And never let me go
Track Name: The Little Foxes (4 Track Diaries)
Before it breaks
Before it’s over
Before it takes
What’s little left of my soul
I’ll try and shake off these shackles

I’ll try and break

Myself from this self inflicted hell
Cause I know it’s the little things that arrest me

Don't mistake my silence
For forgiveness
I've never been one to let anything go

Gonna add it all up

You may have moved beyond but it’s my burden still
I know it's the little things that arrest me
Gonna mark the time by this miserable wall I build
I know it's the little things that arrest me

It’s the little foxes
It’s the cunning lies
It’s the paradoxes
It’s the hopeless tries
It’s the desperation
It’s the hanging on
It’s the feeling I get when all hope is gone
Track Name: LP_Dreams (4 Track Diaries)
In my mind or so it seems are all my troubles., all my dreams.
Track Name: Gravity (4 Track Diaries)
Maybe it's the weight of the world on my shoulders
Maybe it's the crushing hand of God
Maybe it's the fact that I'm getting older
And every second ticks away closer to the end

There's something more than gravity keeping me down

Maybe it's the lies that you told me
Maybe it's the way I don't forgive
Maybe it's the troubled times we've had before
That in my mind I always relive

There's something more than gravity keeping me down

Well I try to walk upright but it gets harder everyday
Either me or my surroundings bring me to my knees
Track Name: What Means The Most (4 Track Diaries)
Fear of wrong decisions
Contemplating all mistakes
Fear of moving forward
All the wrong steps you could take
Fear of the imagined
Keeps you from the truth
Fear of what's behind
The curtain you may never know

Why do we fear what means the most

Fear of being foolish
Who will watch you when you fall
Fear of dangerous ground
When you step will it dissolve
Fear of being open
To the reality
That will settle your mind
And open up your eyes

Why do we fear what means the most
Track Name: Trouble And Sorrow (4 Track Diaries)
I found trouble and sorrow
You found me a way out
I’ve known the depths of despair
You filled the depths of my doubt

It’s getting to the point where I can see
Your love for me is never failing
It’s getting to the point where I can see
Your path for me is so much better
Then where I’ve gone before

I’ve known poverty and sickness
You’ve known the blessings still to come
I see it only in an instant
You see it as it will become
Track Name: Stones (4 Track Diaries)
How dark the golds become that once was pure.
The sacred stones are all poured out on the corner of every street.
Track Name: I'm Always Thinking About Her (4 Track Diaries)
A little confused about what I’m singing
Yes she was a girl
But not flesh and blood

Does it really matter
The pain is universal
When someone leaves who you thought would always be there

I’m always thinking about her

She used to sing our song so sweetly
You could hear her all through the street

I heard a band playing on the corner
So I asked if they could play our song

They just laughed and said
They didn’t know it

Launched into something I never heard
And everyone else sang along

I’m always thinking about her

She used to sing our song so sweetly
You could hear her all through the street

I’m always thinking about her
Track Name: Troubled Times (4 Track Diaries)
There is no peace in staying still
There is no peace in running far
There is no peace in letting go
There is no peace in holding on

I’ll make the most of these troubled times
I’ll learn so much from these troubled times

There is no peace in standing firm
There is no peace in wavering
There is no peace in contemplation
There is no peace in mindlessness

I’ll make the most of these troubled times
I’ll learn so much from these troubled times

Inside I feel like I’m torn in two
No sanctuary is driving me insane
Track Name: Check My Ways (4 Track Diaries)
I’m a man whose known your wrath
I’m a man whose seen your scorn
It’s no secret you've turned your face from me
You cause me to dwell in dark
You wall me in I can’t get out
You even weigh me down with heavy chains

I’d tell you that it’s overwhelming but you don’t ever listen to a word I say

You’re a bear lying in wait you’re a lion hiding near
Gonna tear me into a million pieces
You have aimed your bow towards me
Gave me to my enemies
All day long they sing about my troubles

I’d tell you that it’s overwhelming but you don’t ever listen to a word I say

I’ll never forget how you made me drink the poison up
I’ll never forget how you brought me to the lowest hell
I’ll never forget how you leveled me the crash on crash
The one blow right after the other

Guess I better check my ways
Track Name: I'm No Good At Letting Go (4 Track Diaries)
Letting go of things that define
Letting go of truths I claimed as mine
But are only self delusions

It seems you're asking me to let go of what I understand
Enjoy the mystery while I’m holding your hand
But I’m no good at letting go

Of my biology
Or bad theology
That hurts everyone around
Track Name: I Know You Can Shine Without Me Alt. Version (4 Track Diaries)
A million reasons why I love you
A million reasons why I don't
A million reasons I should stay here
And a million reasons why I won't

A million little complications
A million small regrets
A million validations
A million things I want to forget

It's weighing on me now
It seems like that forever is a concept that will never be realized
I know you can shine without me
I never should have tried to illuminate your heart

It's better this way
Cause we both know that the only time
That this has not been contentious
Was the first time that our eyes met
Right before we said hello
Track Name: Trouble And Sorrow Alt. Mix (4 Track Diaries)
I found trouble and sorrow
You found me a way out
I’ve known the depths of despair
You filled the depths of my doubt

It’s getting to the point where I can see
Your love for me is never failing
It’s getting to the point where I can see
Your path for me is so much better
Then where I’ve gone before

I’ve known poverty and sickness
You’ve known the blessings still to come
I see it only in an instant
You see it as it will become
Track Name: One Of Them Alt. Mix (4 Track Diaries)
There is no fear of God in their eyes

I feel like I’m one of them

They flatter themselves in their eyes

I feel like I’m one of them

Do you see me as a man after your heart
Or do you see me as one who curses your name

I feel like I’m one of them
Track Name: I Can Move Take 2 (4 Track Diaries)
Only when you know there's a way out
Can you dwell on things that seem so hopeless
Only when you know the mystery
Can you contemplate your own destruction

I Can Move

Only when you see your failures
Can you really see the not yet
Only when you throw your hands up
Can you really ever do anything

I Can Move

I'm only happy when it's all fucked up
I'm only happy when it hits the ground
I'm only happy when it's complicated and wrong

Only when you look outside you
Can you see how you fit in
Only when you quit holding on
Can you ever really grasp anything


I Can Move
Track Name: Waiting For A Change Take 2 (4 Track Diaries)
I sing about troubles cause one should sing of what they know
I sing about these times when the real me starts to show

I get disappointed in the way I respond
Thinking that I left these feelings behind

Now I praying for a change to come and get me out of
All this mess I find myself in everyday
I’m praying for a change to come and get me out
Get me out of all this, out of all this, out of all this mess

Yeah I blew it and yeah it comes as no surprise
That the real me is ready to bust out from inside

Ready to leap out and take the control
Nothing good can come from this troubled soul

Now I praying for a change to come and get me out of
All this mess I find myself in everyday
I’m praying for a change to come and get me out
Get me out of all this, out of all this, out of all this mess

No I shouldn’t be praying that I’ll be removed
I really should be praying that I’ll be renewed
And able to handle whatever life brings
And not being controlled by external things

I'm praying for a change to come and get me out of
All this mess I find myself in everyday
I’m praying for a change to come and get me out
Get me out of all this, out of all this, out of all this mess
Track Name: I'm No Good At Letting Go Take 2 (4 Track Diaries)
Letting go of things that define
Letting go of truths I claimed as mine
But are only self delusions

It seems you're asking me to let go of what I understand
Enjoy the mystery while I’m holding your hand
But I’m no good at letting go

Of my biology
Or bad theology
That hurts everyone around
Track Name: Stones Alt. Mix (4 Track Diaries)
How dark the golds become that once was pure.
The sacred stones are all poured out on the corner of every street.
Track Name: I Know You Can Shine Without Me Alt. Mix (4 Track Diaries)
A million reasons why I love you
A million reasons why I don't
A million reasons I should stay here
And a million reasons why I won't

A million little complications
A million small regrets
A million validations
A million things I want to forget

It's weighing on me now
It seems like that forever is a concept that will never be realized
I know you can shine without me
I never should have tried to illuminate your heart

It's better this way
Cause we both know that the only time
That this has not been contentious
Was the first time that our eyes met
Right before we said hello
Track Name: Tendencies Mix 3 (4 Track Diaries)
She can’t help herself she’s gonna do it
Her hands are shaking

She’s got, she’s got, she’s got tendencies
And now her heart won’t find it’s peace
Until she gives it everything she thinks it needs

Sometimes it’s comical
Sometimes it’s dangerous
All the while she’ll stay obsessed
Until she finds everything she thinks her heart is looking for


She’s sitting on her hands cause she wants to interfere
When she hears all of your stupid plans
She’s knows just what, just what you need to do
And she’s chomping at the bit trying hard not to tell you

She’s got, she’s got, she’s got tendencies
And now her heart won’t find relief
Until she gives you everything she thinks you need

Sometimes it’s obvious
Sometimes it’s just enough
Sometimes it’s way more than you bargained for
But never more than what she thinks is needed

She knows but she can help it show

She’s got tendencies
Track Name: I Guess We're All Gonna Find Out Take 2 (4 Track Diaries)
Caught in between this world and the next
Loved ones calling from both directions
Is it selfish or is it selfless
To want to move beyond the temporal

Or do words like these have a different meaning
When you’re balanced between
The here and there

Does every riddle have an answer
Does every no have a reason
Is every childhood pain opened
Ready to receive it’s healing

When you’re stuck between
The now and the not yet
Does it all start to make sense

Is it bravery
Is it knowing
I guess we’re all gonna find out
Track Name: I Feel Like On Of The Girls Alt. Mix (4 Track Diaries)
I feel like one of the girls
Je me sens comme l'une des filles
Track Name: Tendencies Mix 2 (4 Track Diaries)
She can’t help herself she’s gonna do it
Her hands are shaking

She’s got, she’s got, she’s got tendencies
And now her heart won’t find it’s peace
Until she gives it everything she thinks it needs

Sometimes it’s comical
Sometimes it’s dangerous
All the while she’ll stay obsessed
Until she finds everything she thinks her heart is looking for


She’s sitting on her hands cause she wants to interfere
When she hears all of your stupid plans
She’s knows just what, just what you need to do
And she’s chomping at the bit trying hard not to tell you

She’s got, she’s got, she’s got tendencies
And now her heart won’t find relief
Until she gives you everything she thinks you need

Sometimes it’s obvious
Sometimes it’s just enough
Sometimes it’s way more than you bargained for
But never more than what she thinks is needed

She knows but she can help it show

She’s got tendencies
Track Name: Tendencies Mix 4 (4 Track Diaries)
She can’t help herself she’s gonna do it
Her hands are shaking

She’s got, she’s got, she’s got tendencies
And now her heart won’t find it’s peace
Until she gives it everything she thinks it needs

Sometimes it’s comical
Sometimes it’s dangerous
All the while she’ll stay obsessed
Until she finds everything she thinks her heart is looking for


She’s sitting on her hands cause she wants to interfere
When she hears all of your stupid plans
She’s knows just what, just what you need to do
And she’s chomping at the bit trying hard not to tell you

She’s got, she’s got, she’s got tendencies
And now her heart won’t find relief
Until she gives you everything she thinks you need

Sometimes it’s obvious
Sometimes it’s just enough
Sometimes it’s way more than you bargained for
But never more than what she thinks is needed

She knows but she can help it show

She’s got tendencies

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